I was going to just dive right into blogging by writing up a list of my favorite punny titles for Pornos, but then I thought to myself, "Hey! wait a minute you're a classy lady, would a classy lady really let the first post on her blog be about porn? No, no she would not! So instead she will have her first blog post be something great and amazing like .... a filler post about why I don't want my first post to be about porn. That being said I feel like the point of the first post is to explicate why the blogger has started blogging, well let me tell you a little story. Last semester I hooked up with this guy, lets call him Zack (because that was his name). We had been flirting all semester and we would walk back to his apartment together every day after class. Finally at the end of the semester he invited me to a party he was having. We made out and I ended up leaving my bra at his house. I drunkenly stumbled back home at around two, satisfied and thoroughly convinced that we could meet up later to ya know, get married and have babies. I texted him the next week and got a noncommittal reply, I tried again and again, he showed zero interest, so finally angry, dispirited and disappointed I just sent him a message to ask for my bra back. His response? None. This semester I saw him again and despite looking directly at me he walked right by without even smiling enough to acknowledge my existence. So that brings us to today, I was standing at a crosswalk when there he was, directly across the street waiting for the light, looking like a dick. All of a sudden I had this urge. I wanted to unzip my coat and pull off my boots. Then I would strip my socks off and pull my shirt over my head. Then I would take off my pants underwear and bra and stand there in February completely naked waiting for him to cross the street. He would have no choice but to wait for the crosswalk and then walk directly over to me at which point I would motion to my super hot naked self, look him in the eye and say, "You're A MORON" and then he could watch me walk away. In my imagination this was exactly what I did. In reality, I put my head down and walked for two blocks in the opposite direction to get away from him, and that in summation is why I decided to start a blog. I needed a place outside of my own head, for my much more badass but ultimately imaginary self.
